Lauryn

So, I haven't blogged in nearly 2 weeks...not for lack of things I could write about, but mostly because I simply haven't had the words for some reason. I think you could say I have had some "writer's block". I've never claimed to be an amazing writer by any means, the fact that anyone reads my blog is remarkable to me because I lead a very uninteresting life. I write things that are interesting to me, and try to run this blog like a journal so that I'm recording things that matter to me, but don't make much of an effort to make them interesting for everyone else. I don't include videos, or photos...there isn't a ton of humor or fanciful writing.

So I'm going to share a few things about the latest Palfrey...our baby girl Lauryn...and if anyone finds even an ounce of joy, humor, delight, or even just a smidge of interest, then fabulous! Since 99% of my life involves the people I live with, then that is where my interest lies, and therein lies 99% of my blog topics :D.

Our baby Lauryn started crawling!! She's my latest crawler starting at 7.5 months of age...and I'm hoping that her "delayed" (delayed merely being relative to my other children of course - and delayed most definitely be a good thing!) physical abilities will continue into walking, running, climbing, jumping, falling out windows, etc. She is such a happy baby, she just oozes joy from every pore. When she is being fed her baby food...she is just a wiggly mess! She is SOOO excited about the food she just loses all control and kicks and wiggles and bounces...she scrunches up her nose and snorts and laughs and smiles uncontrollably! It makes it difficult to get the food INTO her mouth...but it's a lot of fun at feeding time. When she wakes up from her naps she is the same way...giggly, wiggly, scrunchy faced, edible ball of chubby cuteness. She is such a joyous addition to our family...so far. Many of you might remember Noah being the same happy baby...very mild and observant of all his surroundings...then one day...he became....A BOY!!! AHHHHH!!!! But there is hope for Lauryn, because she will never one day become a boy...she is most definitely a girl...and how does the saying go? "Thank heaven for little girls". Our decision to have Lauryn was one of the biggest decisions we ever made...took 3 visits to the temple seeking confirmation (which I pretty well got on the FIRST visit) to feel comfortable enough to do what we felt the Lord wanted for our family. The pregnancy started out great, everything was normal, and with 4 weeks left, after several doctor and hospital visits due to some concerns, the doctor put me on bedrest. Boy was I grateful for that to be over...sounds glamourous at first...but it gets old within 48 hours. I think the first words out of my mouth when Lauryn was born (AFTER I was over the shock of having ANOTHER girl) was,"I'm so grateful we had her". And now that she's here, like it is for all us mothers...life before them is soon forgotten, and things begin to feel like they were always here, always a part of our family. Confirmation of all things spiritual, that all good things come from God. I see evidence of my Heavenly Father in many things on a daily basis...but nothing is quite as convincing as our children, wouldn't you agree?

The Sad Day

Out of the love and respect I have for my husband I wanted to share a note he posted on facebook today...lots of you have read it, so I apologize if it's a "re-read" but I guess I wanted to add my feelings to it, so here it is:

Well it's late and I’m up working late again. It’s not terribly exciting what I do, fixing networks, rebuilding Raid Arrays, or inoculating viruses from computers or is that computers from viruses. Even my writing isn't that exciting. I’m not a writer, I’m not a poet. I do like writing music though as well as singing with my guitar. So perhaps I’m just a guitar playing singer song writer. Sounds alright to me. Anyways it's late. And I am just finishing up some work before bed comes and I looked at the date.

It’s September 17th.

Not a particularly special day to most. But to me it happens to be one. In about 3.5 hours, it will be 13 years since my mother died.

I remember it well and I won't go on about it but it was a Sunday morning. Mom was taken to the hospital a few hours in the day before. She was desperately ill. I remember what seemed to be a constant flow of morphine bottles going into her bedroom while she attempted a Hospice death. It didn't last. It was too hard to pretend you are happy to die I suppose.

Someone woke me up in the morning at around 6:30AM to tell me that she had died... death..... gone.................... It was a terrible morning.

I know that this is such old news to some and most are wondering why someone would put this on facebook. The only answer I have is that this is who I am now. I’ve had to deal with much more than this throughout my years and this sort of exposure has been the only vent I know.
I am cheerful by habit most of the time. But on September 17th I am trying to take a little time for myself.

I've written a few songs over the years, the one I have always tried not to ever perform is a song called Kiss Goodbye. It’s terribly sad. It’s about this day. Today, the day she left without a goodbye kiss. 13 years ago. A terrible Day.

I've decided to include this song however on my album. I've recorded it now in the studio; it's a slow song, a slow story.

For you all to know, she was an incredible woman. She came to every single one of my opening night performances, sick or not sick. She said a few times she wanted to come to more but her body wouldn't let her. She used to drive me into Vancouver for auditions in between her visits to St. Paul’s hospital. Even when she was sick and could barely speak through her morphine induced pain relief, she said she loved me, and she said she was proud of me.

Her body didn't last in the end; it died to the aids even with the treatments. What a terrible day.


I pause while I write this note here on the book of faces to hold my face and stave off complete tears. This has always been a hard day. Every year. I have often wanted it to get easier, but it doesn't. It just gets less complicated.

I love my family. My wife, my extended and my own little ones. And have often thought that my mom will get to meet them all someday in our future.

I wish I had some kind of joke or story that would make me feel better and perhaps you as well. Perhaps something like, what do you call a blonde with two brain cells, pregnant, or I know a guy named John Hancock. I mean those are pretty funny right.

But alas I must close.

It’s been 13 years. Long years. Too long.

I guess I'll say this to close, that if you still have a mother, or a father. That you should remember September 17th. Remember it as a day to remember what you have. I know I do. I think about all the wonderful blessings I have been given and how wonderful truly my children are, and what an amazing, loving, beautiful, caring, supporting, sexy wife I have. I think about those things as well on this day. About the things I love and have still. You should think of what you have, and give your mother a big hug. I have lost my mother but still have incredible substitutes like:
Wendy fleet
Angela palfrey
Angela palfrey
Laurel palfrey
Karen Obrien,
Elaine Noftle


Incredible women that I love and that for some reason love me as well.

I hope this message leaves you well. cuz I feel an H'load better than I did when I started.

Fowler

I just wanted to add how blessed I am to be married to a man who loved, and continues to love, his Mother as deeply as Jared. I never had the fortune of knowing his Mom before she passed away...I came along around 7 months after she passed, but so many people knew her...and every single one of them loved her. Ever since I met Jared, when he would introduce me to someone, be it friend, family or just acquaintance...I would hear over and over how wonderful Lois was. How she made others laugh, and feel so loved. That's how Jared is...boy am I glad he had a mother who blessed him with humour, and unconditional love...who raised him to KNOW he was so special and so talented. He passes those traits onto our children...and that is a blessing to both them and me. I love Lois...she gave me my husband, and all the beautiful things I love about him I know came from her. I have a secret hope that when the day comes...I hope Jared passes before me...because I don't want him to ever have to experience that depth of loss again in this life. However...I'm sure that most of us would prefer to pass together with our eternal companion...that's how my grandparents passed.

I love you Jared...and I thank your Mom for blessing you with all the traits that I fell in love with so many years ago...and continue to love every minute of every day, for this moment and for all eternity. I love you.

My Brother Joel

So my brother Joel is a composer, and I have looked up to him my whole life. Well my super cool brother has entered the Hockey Night in Canada Theme Song competition! And might I say that I think his particular composition is seriously one of the best on there! Now I know I'm biased, but I also KNOW that Joel has spent his whole life, from his first waking moments watching and loving HNIC! So I know that his composition was written with a whole life's worth of fond hockey experiences...so I would have to say he knows what he's doing, and it shows! His theme song is AWESOME! So go to this link http://anthemchallenge.cbc.ca/mediadetail/327204?sort=upload+DESC+DESC&filetype=2%2C3&moderationstatus=1&offset=12 and sign up so you can rate him...and leave LOTS of comments!! We really want him to win, not just because he's my brother, but because his song is the BEST!! And invite all the people you know to check it out and rate! Enjoy the song! Oh and be patient, both on my blog and the HNIC website the song takes a minute to start playing, but it's worth the wait!